I went thru a period of crisis during my first year as a stay at home mom as well. I had been “officially” working since I was 17 to pay or help pay for the things I needed. I was the primary bread-winner for the first 6 months of our marriage. My mom was the typical 80′s mom, who not necessarily hated it but definitely felt confined and worthless staying at home with me my first two years (while my father was moved around in his jobs) after that she promptly put me in daycare and went to work. So I guess I always thought that I would be the same way. My “dream” job was not so nice when they found out about my pregnancy after only working with them for barely a year and made life so stressful I quite before even having my son.

I had always planned to go back to work after a few months but life changes things. Why my son was born 9 weeks early and it made me change my mind to stay home longer. Then much to my mother’s cringe I enjoyed it, lol. I think part of the reason she wanted to push me to go back to work is because she thought I would think less of her choice. It took me telling her that I was happy for her to back off. But even that took some therapy to relocate the self esteem that I had lost from losing my identity (or so I thought).

I still have some women (most who don’t have kids and some that do) give me dirty or pitying looks when they find out that I stay at home. Some of the negatives of the Feminist movement, I am either betraying my “sisters” or just mentally whipped (that is a whole other topic). Just as I get some men (mostly unmarried or much older) who give me pleased looks. Either idealistic or conservative thinkings.

I stay at home because I enjoy it (though it helps to know that my husband supports my decision). Yes it saves us money on daycare cost, and other work related expenses. Yes, I miss making “my” own money and getting some sort of actual “pat on the back” in the form of raises or promotions. But I enjoy teaching my children and watching the grow, even if they are little tyrants. :p Now when they go to school full-time it will be time for a new choice. With no children home I am sure I will get bored very quickly.

And you have quite a wonderful situation where you are able to work at home. My husband is lucky to see us for 2 hours on some days between work and sleep.

*Hope I am not too much of a bother, I know I can be long -winded. But I do truly enjoy your blog.
.-= Momma Imp´s lastest blog ..Bad Mother- =-.