Comments on: I Put Soap in the Toothpaste! – Dealing With a Child’s Bizarre Behavior

By: Straight Dope Dad

Straight Dope Dad — Wed, 17 Aug 2011 22:44:33 +0000

I have one simple philosophy that keeps me sane. Well two actually:

1. A child can only do what they are developmentally ready to do. No more and no less. You can’t magically force their brains to make instant leaps in development.

2. ALL children are special needs children. I have yet to meet any kid that wasn’t a part time whack job. I know plenty of kids, that on the surface, seem far more advanced than my own daughter. Their language and reading abilities are incredible, they are very well behaved, thoughtful, and considerate. And they you find out they can’t swim or ride a bike, they’re afraid of everything and have hyper picky dietary preferences. So pick your poison and rest assured that your kid is a freak just like every other kid. The “normal” kid is a myth. So don’t let that stop you unless you don’t want the hassle of raising a child at all.

By: Karen

Karen — Wed, 17 Aug 2011 12:24:43 +0000

I plan to have kids in the next couple of years and between this, the tantrums, and the not wanting to poop, you have me a little worried about it. You seem very similar to me, so it has me worried to be honest.

By: Straight Dope Dad

Straight Dope Dad — Tue, 16 Aug 2011 16:36:18 +0000

Yep we already do that. Been doing that since day one. Not to pat myself on the back too much but we are unusually proactive parents. Our daughter is very lucky to have parents that are so consistent in their parenting methods and not in denial about problems. Still, kids will sometimes do what they are going to do and there is really not much you can do but react after the fact.

By: Karen

Karen — Tue, 16 Aug 2011 13:43:40 +0000

You can try to address the bigger issue, which is her lack of self control. You can try talking to her about self control or reading some children’s books about self control. You could try to get her to see things from others’ point of view by asking her to put herself in their shoes in a variety of situations so she gets into the habit. Ask her to imagine the future for situations. Discuss various scenarios. I’m sure you already do all of this, but that’s all I can think of.

By: Andy

Andy — Fri, 19 Nov 2010 09:35:34 +0000

My brother used to do things like that. He was diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome. I’m not saying that this is what’s going on with your child at all, just pointing out that there could be reasons for her behavior that just aren’t obvious to you.

With a lot of trial and error, my mother figured out how to teach my brother to pay attention, and to realize that other people have similar thoughts, feelings, and experiences, but that they are not the same as his own.

I’d advise any parent dealing with this kind of behavior to take a look at advice for parents of autistic and aspie children. Even if your child does *not* have these problems, you might find some things that work, or at least a fresh perspective.