Comments on: Keeping Your Sex Life Alive After Having Kids – How to Have A Great Sex Life After Marriage and Children

By: Straight Dope Dad

Straight Dope Dad — Sun, 15 Jan 2012 01:28:20 +0000

My suggestion is you need to schedule sex and stick too it even if the two of you aren’t in the mood. Once you get into, almost anyone eventually gets in the mood. Also you must start schedule date nights if you aren’t already. A lot of couples with young children start relating to each other only through the children. The problem with this is it keeps you in parent mode which is not helpful for couple bonding. When you relate to your partner primarily through the children it prevents you from courting and flirting and experiencing emotional and intellectual intimacy with your partner. So you need to put the kids away somewhere at least once a week so you can remind yourselves why you are together. With your schedule this is an absolute must. That would also be a good time to schedule sex.

Also, if you and your partner aren’t exercising regularly or eating a primarily whole food diet (no fast food and very little processed food… preferable no sugar either) it would really help your sex life. This one of the first things that parents lose as our focus shifts from ourselves to our children.

Whole plant based foods (loaded with antioxidants and phytonutrients) nurture you body on the cellular level while processed foods just dump nutrient free calories into your system.

You will feel more frisky, sleep better (and need less of it to feel refreshed), and have more energy with regular exercise and whole foods. (I know that’s harder said than done, but it’s more important on what you DO eat rather than what you DON’T eat. Just focus on eating good stuff and you won’t have to worry about avoiding the bad because you’ll be too full with the good stuff.)

I’ve been experimenting with diet my whole life and the effects are profound.

By: Melbri

Melbri — Sat, 14 Jan 2012 22:48:13 +0000

My husband and I have been married for 2 years in November last year (2011).
I am 28 and there is 24 years between us.
We have two children under 3.5.
My husband had a Vasectomy on the 27th April last year – the reason for me remembering it? it was the lat time we had sex
I never feel like it and then my hubby never feels like it – we never seem to have any time as I start early in the mornings and hubby drives intrastate trucks 2-3 times a week – the boys go to bed by 8pm and I turn in at 8.30pm, and if hubby isnt asleep by then on the lounge when he is home, it is a rarety – I just cant seem to get the time, let alone the libido to go along with it… any ideas anyone?

By: Straight Dope Dad

Straight Dope Dad — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 17:58:18 +0000

Your welcome and keep at it. Sexual desire is like a muscle. If you don’t exercise it it just gets smaller and weaker until it disappears.

By: Mich

Mich — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 16:55:25 +0000

I’m a working mom from Singapore, a small Asian city that houses one of the least sexually active ppl in the world (it’s true). Sex life after having 2 kids is almost non existent, except on vacation, which does not happen often enough. Your article has inspired me enough to wake up my hubby from his sleep to offer some lovin, which of cos took him by surprise but was very much welcome. Thank you for putting this issue in such a refreshing perspective.

By: Barnerom

Barnerom — Fri, 27 Aug 2010 14:57:23 +0000

I just about probably found a new favourite blog I really think you write very good and entertaining blog posts! Hats off!!… nice to have a place to vent things

By: Straight Dope Dad

Straight Dope Dad — Sun, 13 Jun 2010 10:57:54 +0000

Yeah, I was inspired by all the chatter on my “get more sex” post as well as what I see around me. I really don’t get it. How does anyone expect their relationship to survive without addressing the sex issue seriously?

There’s two things that rule our lives both covertly and overtly and that’s money and sex. Yet these two topics are for the most part off limits. People just don’t talk about it. But statistically money and sex problems cause the most stress on a relationships. It’s all backwards.

I agree that what you and your husband are doing is, while not tehnically as schedule, is most definitely a “plan”.

My next sex post is going to be about romance. As a society i think we get that one all wrong as well. If I have to read another piece of advice about “bubble baths by candlight” I think I’m going to puke.

Thanks again for writing.

By: Momma Imp

Momma Imp — Sat, 12 Jun 2010 02:04:55 +0000

Geez, again with the sex. Lol. My husband and I have been together for almost 9 years and married for almost 5. By the time we got married the honeymoon phase was already over. Ha, I remember on our wedding night we were so tired from all the visiting of family and friends leaving the next day that we almost didn’t have sex, but we did. While we tend not to “plan” sex we both tend to keep a mental track of when the last time was. If it has been more than a week than we will check with the other to find out hows it going and if any lovin’ is needed. Sometimes it is me, sometimes him. Planning sex is actually difficult for us to do because of his work schedule. So it tends to be a thing of if we happen to have a spare hour and one or the other is in the mood.

Funny enough since I got off a hormonal birth control my sex drive has been higher. Also I have learned how to switch over to the man brain thinking. When my husband gets bitchy and stressed I just put the kids in the rooms and get him some attention. Switching over to man thinking helps to put me in the mood without having to be romanced. (which is what you were talking about)

But I agree with you. Just as one nurtures their children they must also nurture their sex life.
.-= Momma Imp´s lastest blog ..Children = No sleep =-.