Feb 4 2010

Quit Whining – If You Are Single and Have No Kids I Don’t Want To Hear Your Complaining

Summary: Parents have no patience for listening to their single, childless friends complain about their life.

At a recent family gathering my sort of brother-in-law (I say sort of because my partner and I aren’t married) and I started talking about parenthood and how it just completely obliterates your pre-child life.

“I just have no patience for single childless people who complain”, says my brother-in-law,”they can do what ever they want, whenever they want!”

“I know, before I had a kid I used to think I was busy. Ha! What a delusional fool I was.”

“It’s so funny. They come into work on Monday and complain about how tired they are from partying all weekend, or about how the two movies they saw sucked, or how crowded the plane was on their way to Vegas. Partying? Movies? Vegas? What are those things? I haven’t had an unscheduled minute that didn’t revolve around work or family in over 6 years! Do you hear me complain? No. There’s no time to complain! I just do it because it needs to be done.”

And that was just part of the rant. He was clearly on a roll and it was a joy to watch. And he’s completely right. Childless single people have no scale. They’re like teenagers. Everything’s a crisis. Continue reading

Feb 4 2010

The Myth of Fair and the 50/50 Relationship Split

Summary: Fairness is subjective and not everything in life can be divided 50/50. What counts is you both feel your overall contribution is balanced.

Fairness issues are nothing new. In this painting a woman is contemplating the fairness of the relationship as a stressed out father waits anxiously for the verdict while their disgruntled child does her chores.

My partner and I have slightly different views on fairness. She’s more likely to favor a literal 50/50 split as a way to insure fairness. I’m more inclined to follow a “from each according to his ability, to each according to his need” philosophy. That’s an over simplification but it illustrates our general tendencies. Continue reading