Summary: Stop the Madness. Turning young hot girls into social cripples by giving them whatever they want.
I just got back from a nice, calm, small get together at my brother’s house this 4th of July and it inspired me to finally publish a story that I wrote last 4th of July.
My brother, who happens to be born on the 4th of July, was having his usual 4th of July party at his beach house. Now I love living in a beach community but with that also comes a derelict element. Beach towns just tend to encourage drinking and parting and slacking off. It’s really easy to just waste your life drinking forty-ouncers on the cliffs and heckling the tourists and groms if you don’t have any clear direction of self discipline.
At the time my brother’s house was occupied by several single male roommates. Over the years it had become a beacon for all sorts of sketchy behaviors as many beach houses occupied by males tends to do if you don’t keep it in check. Last year it got out out control as dozens of “party” types descended on the home. This inspired my brother to finally “clean house” and restore some boundaries. But his story is about last year.
I arrived early to my brother’s house but it was already jumping. Most people I recognized but some I didn’t. As the minutes passed by the ration of knowns to unknowns continued to rise. As it rose, so did the chaos.
I’m sitting at the appetizer table enjoying some cheese dip and veggies when up walks this young woman. She’s maybe mid twenties at most, with blond hair, a beautiful face, and a body that would no doubt inspire double and triple takes from the guys every time she steps outside her house.
In short, she’s the type of girl who’s probably never heard the word “no” in her life.
“What’s this?” she says pointing to the bowl in the middle of the table.
“That’s a cheese sauce for dipping.”
“Ok, thanks. Is that your plate?”
She then grabs a spoon and puts a big blob of cheese sauce on my plate and starts to dip a chunk of bread into it.
“Whoa, what are you doing?”
“You don’t mind do you?”
“Yes, I do mind. Get your own plate.”
“Oh, are you a vegan?”
“No, and my dietary preferences are irrelevant. This is my plate.”
“Oh, I didn’t think you’d mind.”
“Well I do. Go get your own plate. There’s a big stack over there.”
She looks at the stack, then back to my plate and the blob of cheese sauce. She’s seems completely lost and it looks like she’s going to try to dip into my plate again. So I pull it back towards my chest and kind of shield it with my left hand.
“Right there. Big stack. Go get your own plate.”
She just keeps standing there looking at my plate.
“Go now! Go get your own plate.” I say as I gesture to the stack of clean, never used, completely free plates that the host has thoughtfully put out for everyone to use.
She leaves and finally gets her own plate.
Now I said earlier that she’s probably never heard the word “no” in her life. I bet good money this is true. I’m sure most guys give her whatever she wants and put up with her bullshit just so they can continue to bask in her glory. I’m sure most think that if they just played along long enough, if she was intoxicated enough, and if they happened to say just the right thing at the right time, they could fuck her.
Not this dude, however. And it has nothing to do with being a happily committed family man. I just have a low tolerance for the Marilyn Monroe act – always have. It almost feels as if it’s my civic duty to draw the line on this manipulative behavior since no one else seems willing to reduce their odds, now matter how remote, of getting into some cute chicks pants. It’s also supremely insulting to think I’m just going to let you do whatever you want because you’re “hawt”.
So my mom, who saw the whole thing because she was sitting next to me, asks what the deal was. I fill her in on the details and she’s as dumbfounded as I am.
A half an hour later, the girl with no cheese dipping boundaries comes up to me.
“I’m sorry about that earlier. I didn’t think you’d mind.”
“That’s what’s so baffling to me. How could I not mind? In what instance has that ever been acceptable behavior.”
“I didn’t think it would be such a big deal.”
“I don’t know how you could think that. When has putting food an a total stranger’s plate and then eating off it ever been acceptable. I’m serious, I really want to know why you did that and why you thought it was ok.”
“I just didn’t think it would be such a big deal.”
“That’s it? So you do this all the time and no one cares?
Then she just walk away.
Wow. Quite an eye-opening experience and it makes me think of my daughter. My daughter has blond hair and blue eyes and all indicators point to her being be tall and fit. Basically a physical prototype for the type of girl who never hears the word no. On the other hand, she’s not a natural manipulator, a bit shy, and introverted. She also has two parents who are not trying to be her buddy or win her affection or approval. We are her parents and it’s not our job to be her friend – that’s what friends are for.
So I think she’ll be ok. But as she matures it would certainly help if the guys, including her male teachers, would hold her to the same standard they would if she were a just another dude. In short, hold her accountable. Better yet, let’s hold everyone accountable regardless of their position, status, gender, race, and any other identity that could be used to get away with bullshit. That would be awesome!
Coda: To be fair, which she doesn’t deserve, I’ll point out that the girl with no boundaries also came to the party with a friend. An hour later her friend was crawling on the floor like a dog. I’m not sure what she was trying to achieve with the crawling bit, but perhaps they both were under the influence of psychedelics when they arrived. Which could explain a lot but doesn’t let her off the hook.
File Under: Instilling Responsibility in Hot Chicks